The Month For Bros

Happy Movember to all you blokes, dogs, cats and hairy ladies. 

It is times like this that I wish I was a man, and I could grow a moustache. Maybe have contests, maybe duels with my fellow manly men. You know, gentleman stuff. And you get to do it whilst raising money for charity. What’s not to love? It’s a month to get all your bros together and show them some love, to wage moustache war, one could say.

Right, I know everyone is still going a little crazy with moustaches (I think that’s the plural form?). It’s been done on sticks, in cookies, in chocolate, pillows, rings, necklaces. Everything. You get the picture. So I’m not going to do moustaches. Mostly because it’s been done to death a little bit now, and a little because I can’t afford to buy any new cookware at the moment, so I just stuck to something relatively manly. This is actually one of my most valuable recipes. If you were gonna make anything from my collection of recipes, it should be this, or my bean chilli, or my Tiramisu come to think of it!

Brownies are totally manly right? 

Oh well, you’re stuck with them now, put some steak or bacon in it to ‘man’ it up a little. Grrr. Manly! 

Bro Brownies
200g dark chocolate
100g milk chocolate
300g unsalted butter
400g granulated sugar
5 large eggs
1 tblsp vanilla
200g plain flour
1 tsp salt
Optional: white/milk/dark chocolate chunks, dried cherries, dried raspberries, dried banana chips, walnuts, hazelnuts or anything else you might want to add.
This is really, really easy. If you’re doing a bake-sale for Movember you can slice this bad boy up and it’ll fly out. 

– Preheat the oven to 180C/gas mark 4/160C fan and line a square baking tin with baking parchment. If you want them really thick, get a smaller-taller sized square, if you want them thinner get a wider tin. Easy as that (i’ll get to the baking times in a minute!)
– Melt all the chocolate and butter in a double boiler (a bowl sitting on top of a simmering saucepan of water, making sure the bottom of the top bowl doesn’t touch the water!). Once it’s all melted, set aside to cool off a little bit. 
– Beat the eggs, sugar and vanilla in a bowl until it’s thick – it’ll be grainy from the granulated sugar, but you don’t need to worry about that, it helps get the gooey-cakey dream texture you want from a brownie. 
– Pour the chocolate mixture into the egg mixture and beat it in until it’s all incorporated. 
– Add in the flour and salt (you can even sift it if you’re feeling fancy!)
– Stir in any extras you might have lying around – chocolate chips, nuts, hair trimmers etc. 
– Pour into your lined baking tin and bake for about 20-25 minutes. Now, if you’re using a wider tin, bake for about 15-20 minutes and keep an eye on it that it doesn’t burn. If it’s a thicker brownie (anything up to 4cm or so), it’ll probably need 40-45 minutes.  There’s no point testing it with a skewer, because it’s meant to be gooey in the middle, it’s not a sponge. You should get a light brown thick crust on the top. 
– Wait for it to cool for half an hour before cutting it, it’s mid-way between a solid cake and a chocolatey mess,  and when it’s warm it’ll fall to pieces. Best to cut it when it’s completely cold really, but if you’re really impatient, half an hour is fine!

Boom. Done. Yeah, I called them Bro Brownies, for obvious reasons. It’s an adapted recipe from my old Green & Black’s cookbook, so thanks guys. I really do owe you one, these brownies are pretty damn sexy!
I cook them every year on my birthday, at Christmas, usually celebratory events because of the sheer mass of ingredients this behemoth brownie takes. But you know, Movember is a special month, and you need something spectacular if you’re gonna raise some money for charity.

Oh my word, look at how adorable this little bugger is. You’re not quite Christopher Lee, but you’re getting there. I think you people should all take a moustache-leaf out of this handsome monkey’s book. I would very much like to see a display of fine ‘staches in the comments. If you’re sporting a simple pencil, handlebar, Dali or a fu-manchu like this little dude, post a picture if you have the time…and want to of course. This isn’t some sort of moustache-heist over here.  

Don’t forget to check your nads guys!